Asian men in media

I just had to reproduce the following excerpt from a web discussion on Asian men in the mainstream media.  I think that the author makes his points quite well.

I grew up in a smallish university town with a fairly substantial Indian population. The university was the main reason for that – it was the largest employer in town, and also had a high proportion of employees whose jobs (whether academic or professional) required a higher level of education. So, there was a substantial Indian population, as well as Taiwanese, Korean, Japanese, etc. For now, I’m just going to focus on the Indian population.

I grew up with a number of Indian women in my age group, or near enough. The community was substantial, but was not so big that people didn’t mostly know each other. So I pretty much knew all of the Indian girls in my age group in my community.

To date, not one of them has married an Indian man. Zero, zilch, nada. Not a single one. Also, to date, the young Indian men that I went to school with are mostly unmarried, but the few who did marry tended to marry in their race. (Full disclosure – I am happily dating a white woman, so I’m the exception. I’m nevertheless pretty familiar with the rule.)

The reality that Indian men certainly face (and, to read the postings on other boards, Asian men generally) is that Indian women tend to date and marry outside their race at a far greater rate than Indian men. (And, again, Asian men generally….). Indeed, there is a sizeable portion of Indian women (and, again, Asian women generally) who have no desire to date and marry Indian men (and, again, Asian men generally). As an anecdotal example, there are exactly two ads in this week’s Chicago Reader Matches for Women Seeking Men placed by women who self-identify as Asian. Both invite responses from single white men.

Now, the reasons for this are obviously a complex pastiche. Some critics hold that Asian women are simply seeking status and assimilation by dating and marrying outside their race. If the critic is forgiving, they may try to lay the blame on patriarchal Asian societies that deny women autonomy, and marriage outside the race being a means of escaping that bondage. This belief is especially true with Indian women because of the ongoing practice of arranging marriages, which is still viewed from the outside as a restriction on the woman’s rights, not the man’s. Some blame the men (who tend to be white men) for having “yellow fever” or “Asian woman fetish.” Some blame white women for failing to meet the needs of white men. (More on this below.)

But the bigger question becomes – why don’t the numbers flow the other way? Why aren’t Asian men outmarrying at rates comparable to Asian women? Again, complex web of reasons. Some would say that Asian men are conditioned by their parents or their culture to focus on studies at the expense of athletic or social activities. (The former of which can help build sex appeal, and the latter of which can help build social skills useful for meeting and interacting with people). There’s some truth to that. But the bottom line is that Asian men do not draw the same level of attention from non-Asian women as Asian women attract from non-Asian men. (Again, the personals are a good anecdotal example, as they are replete with ads from women who self-identify as white and who invite responses from single white men.)

But ignoring the roles of media portrayals would be a mistake. Asian women tend to be much more visible in the mainstream media and entertainment industries than Asian men. (examples- Lucy Liu, Lisa Ling, Lauren Tom, Connie Chung, Amy Tan, Ming-Na Wen). Asian men, by comparison, are relatively invisible. When they are shown, they are either shown as nerdy, horny guys (Eddie Chin in the “American Pie” movies, Mickey Rooney’s Mr. Yunioshi in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”), sexless martial arts masters (Jackie Chan), as villains (e.g. Dr. Fu-Manchu, Oddjob), or as sidekicks or comic relief (the Indian doctor in the “Short Circuit” movies and the Indian programmer in “Office Space” come to mind). Some are slowly starting to cross over (e.g. Chow Yun-Fat), but it’s still a rare phenomenon. More importantly, Asian men are not typically shown in sexual roles, except to the extent that they are the geeky guys who want sex but never get it. Jackie Chan may kick a lot of ass, but in his American movies at least, he doesn’t get much of it.

Moreover, Asian female-white male relationships are portrayed in the media as acceptable and normal. Connie Chung and Amy Tan both have Caucasian husbands, Lucy Liu rose to prominence in a role where she dated a white lawyer (on Ally McBeal), and she has since been in a movie (and its forthcoming sequel) in which she is dating a white man (Matt Le Blanc, “Charlie’s Angels”). Lauren Tom had a prominent role on “Friends” in which she was dating Ross, a white man. Kristin Kreuk (who is half-Chinese in real life) dated an all-American white football jock on her show, and is now pining for all-American hero Clark Kent.

Now, I’m not suggesting that Asian female- white male relationships are bad or are something that should be condemned or should be the subject of “very special episodes” every time they occur. But . . . the instances in the media in which an Asian man is shown dating, marrying, or even screwing a white woman are virtually nil. I’m not going to say it never happens, but it’s certainly less high-profile than the examples I’ve cited.

There are also more pernicious, lingering stereotypes of both Asian women and Asian men that play into this. Asian women, for example, are still viewed by many as submissive, sexually adept, and less choosy than their Caucasian counterparts. (There is an observable phenomenon of geeky white guys with gorgeous Asian girlfriends, so I’m sure there are geeky white guys who believe they have a better chance with Asian women than women of their own race.) Asian men are viewed as unromantic, overly studious, nerdy, perpetually horny, and as having small penises. (Yes, you do hear that last one.)

Even though a lot of us think we’re better than that, our view of the world is shaped by the media, and often times our education as to “what is sexy” comes from the media. For a number of Asian men, therefore, there is a double-screwage that goes on. First, Asian women, with whom we share a common cultural heritage, are more predisposed to outmarry. They exist in a culture where this is considered normal and where the mainstream media supports this as normal. So they are cut off from a good chunk of women that would be potential partners. But then they also do not get the same leve of interest from non-Asian women as their female counterparts get from non-Asian men. And they (Asian men) exist in a culture where the mainstream media . . . barely shows them at all, certainly not in a sexual light.

RexDart cites stereotypes of Asian men as hardworking, industrious, dedicated, etc. Assuming those stereotypes do exist, they’re still not all that helpful. First off, there is no comparable stereotype of white men as not being any of those things. (this is a contrast with African-American and Latino men, where there are such stereotypes). Second, “hardworking”, “industrious” etc. are hardly attributes that set the bed afire. Those are qualities that are admired, but are still not generally viewed as “sexy” qualities. Desirable yes, but sexy, not so much.

Now, I’d be the last person to suggest that interracial dating is bad or should be condemned. (Three major relationships – only one with an Asian). But, at the very least, I think the article cited in the OP challenges those Asian women who refuse to date Asian men (and they do exist and are fairly numerous) to take a look at themselves and ask themselves why they make those choices. Are they harboring stereotypes that are unfair and perpetuate the continued invisibility and marginalization of Asian men from the romantic and sexual spheres? Should they perhaps broaden their horizons?

It’s always a touchy issue when the issue of Asian female- white male relationships come up, and often times Asian men come off sounding like racists when they voice frustration at the prevalence of these relationships. But there are legitimate gripes not so much with the relationships, but with the stereotypes and media portrayals that play into them, and the kinds of visibility that Asian men do not enjoy.

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Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

• Asian men have it tough in the dating scene
• Dating and race: Some people just don’t get it
• Another post on Asian men